Everything is Changing

     We looked around the room and it hit us.  This is actually happening.  I mean, we knew that it was happening.  We knew that TEAM had accepted us.  But all of the sudden it got very real.  There was still a whimsy to our future that had been washed away.  There are going to be moments throughout this entire journey that will forever be with us.  Walking into TEAM’s headquarters last week will be one that I carry with me for a long time. 

     As I was reaching for the door to walk into TEAM’s building I started feeling that flashback sensation that happens right before a big life-change.  Seeing my glare in the window I couldn’t help but think back to my wedding day – the day that I married the goddess of a woman that is giving up everything with me.  Images of youth retreats to Silver Birch Ranch, Teen Serve, missions trips to Nicaragua, Mexico, and Honduras, leading worship hundreds of Sundays, teaching and preaching all came crashing back.  Faces of our family, and our family at Grace Pointe, Moody, and Canton were speeding through my mind.  It felt like my mind went through every single emotion that I have felt over the past 6 years in ministry here in the USA.  Some were great emotions, others were horrific.  I couldn’t help but feel my failures, the ways that I have not lived as I ought, my sin, my missteps, bad decisions.  I couldn’t help but see unfinished tasks, unrealized potentials, and unacceptable apathy toward the American church.  Great victories were there too – life change in students, warm and loving friendships, compelling worship experiences, libraries of lessons learned. The joy, the sorrow, the laughter, the pain – none of it lacking.    

     The bitter cold air brought me back.  I shot Jenny a glance and reached for the stainless steel handle on the door.  The overwhelming support and love in her eyes reminded me that she is crazy for marrying me, and I’m crazy about her.  It was a new building.  A new task.  A new goal.  Heck, a new life.  We stepped into the building leaving the grip of winter behind us aware that what we were leaving behind was much more than a cold day.

     We rounded the corner and walked into a room full of other missionary candidates.  People that we now call friends.  We shared stories of the places where we will be living.  We heard of medical needs in Myanmar, sex-trafficking in Austria, education in China, Tilapia-farming in Zimbabwe, and of course dump church-planting.   All of it stirred within us a secure confirmation that we were exactly where God wanted us. 

Doing a skit in morning devotions.

Some team building.

     

     God’s heart is for the nations.  And He has equipped us with the tools and resources to plant churches in Latin America.  When we got married, He began to create within us a restlessness in America so that we would some day be walking into TEAM.  For all of the flashbacks that we have experienced, for all of the remorse, frustration, joy, and laughter...for all of the inconsistency and doubt that we know we will face the rest of our lives we know there has been one constant.  God.  He continues to write this story.  The sweeping narrative of our lives keeps taking unexpected turns, but nothing makes us happier than knowing the author.

     Our week at TEAM was fantastic.  It was nurturing, encouraging, and fulfilling.  Nothing bad can be said about it.  What we learned more than anything though is that God owns the past, the present, and the future.  And there is no greater feeling than knowing that.

Grace and Pants

     Have you ever used a word so many times that it sounds funny? The first time it ever happened to me was with the word "pants". Pants, pants, pants, pants. See, it sounds funny. Christian culture, I presume, is going through something similar with the word "grace". We have some pithy definitions of it that are true but not full. We use it so often in church that many of us are inoculated to what is actually meant. For too many of us, including myself, the message of grace (the gospel) has been about me getting my sins forgiven, or it's primarily about my own psychological health, or being rid of my guilt, or not needing to try as hard to earn God's favor. That is grace to many of us. These are all good things, but I do not believe that these are truly the most gracious things that we receive. To be honest, in church, the word is just starting to sound funny. Pants, pants, pants.
     I have recently begun studying the gospel of John in my daily devotions. It's actually a new thing for me. I've always been a bible-in-a-year guy; which means my inner legalist is angry at me for changing the pattern. Regardless, John very clearly elaborates on the full meaning of the grace imparted to us in John 1.

16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.

       John is drawing this distinction between what Moses brought and what 

Jesus has brought. Moses brought the law, Jesus brought grace. Out of Jesus' fullness, John says, we have received "grace upon grace", or "blessing upon blessing". Really the NIV does best on this one as it is written above, that basically Jesus gives so much grace that it is piling up on top of other grace. Like when a popcorn machine is making so much popcorn that it starts pouring out onto the ground. That is pretty awesome!  That is how God dispenses grace.
       But then John closes this section of scripture by explaining to us what this grace contains. In Jesus' arrival on earth, in His coming, and living, and dying, and resurrecting, Jesus revealed God to us in a way that was impossible to ever know Him before. Jesus gave us the opportunity to actually know God! He revealed Him to us. By Jesus dying and resurrecting, He provided the path through which we may actually come to know God. Yes, sins are forgiven, no you don't have to continue to try to earn God's favor, yes you can become psychologically whole - but all of those things occur when we truly embrace and know God.  The end of the cross and tomb is not just your sins forgiven, or your mental health, the end of the cross and tomb is that you get to know God. That is why Jesus came. That you might know Him.  That is grace. And that could never sound funny, and we could never get tired of saying it.