People Actually Believe in Prayer: Why Mere Humans Make Terrible Messiahs

 We’ve been active here at Potter’s House for a little over 2 weeks now. I have made somewhere close to 50-60 visits to people’s homes for prayer.

Let me set the scene:

Most of the families that we are working with are considered high-risk families. They are high-risk because of their employment (scavenging in the garbage) or lack thereof. They are high-risk because of health-related issues. They are considered high-risk because of their living situation, cardboard and laminate houses on dirt floors.

When you walk into someone’s home your mind is flying. You are looking around examining the situation, asking questions, trying to get a full, honest picture of the situation to see what needs can potentially be met.

On top of that, you are praying for lots of discernment. You never know what has happened in the last few weeks for each of these families. Has someone recently passed away? Is there abuse? Has the husband started drinking again? Are the husband and wife even together anymore?

After gathering information and making small talk we get to the point of the visit. We ask some diagnostic questions to see where a family is spiritually. We then let them know that we’d like to pray for them and see if they have any prayer requests.

We take down their prayer requests and I either pray for the family or nod to someone else to pray.

Something amazing happens when we are done praying. Me, being the sinful man that I am, am thinking about the exit. What will I say? How will I encourage? Who is coming next?

Almost every family has responded the same. They look up, through tear-filled eyes, and can hardly whisper “thank-you.”

You’d think that I’d catch on. “Justin, prayer is important! Prayer matters!” But, I am kind of a slow learner.

The terrifying, appalling conclusion that I keep coming to is that I don’t believe in the power of prayer, and the people I’m serving do!

Don’t get me wrong, in theory I totally believe that prayer does something. I’ve been told all my life that I am supposed to ask God, our Father, who loves to give us good gifts.

But, in the end, the rational, cerebral, un-emotional, results-driven American wins out in my mind. Because, when I’m really honest, I am thinking about the next group of people that I am going to help.

That’s the MORE terrifying conclusion. The reason that I hardly believe in the power of prayer is because I’m the messiah that I’m offering to people. It’s not the power of a miracle-producing, all-powerful, all-loving, all-good God…it is me! So, instead of praying more often, trusting that God is sufficient, I rush through my repetitions and start thinking about the next family. Because, at the end of the day, prayer is the expression of my humble and submissive trust in God – lack of prayer is the expression of self-sufficiency. 

Now, I hope that you aren’t as arrogant and self-sufficient as I am. But, examine your situation. How quickly do you turn to your problem-solving mode? Is it more quickly than you fall to your knees in prayer? When you pray, is it just a lob, fingers-crossed, but your real hope is in the solution you’ve already started to form in your mind? And what about that solution that you’ve started to form, if it is successful, who gets the credit? What is the proportion of prayer to decision-making strategy in your life?

I’d venture to say that, even in your own life situations, you are your own functional messiah. Sure, God saved you for that eternity part, but it’s up to you to deal with the day-to-day until we get there. Or it’s up to you to keep God happy. Or it’s up to you to make your family happy. Or it’s up to you…it’s up to you…it’s up to you.

You get the point.                                                                                                                 

I always have to go back to what I know, especially in the darkness that envelops the communities we work in: we desperately need someone bigger, stronger, and wiser than us to step into every corner of this world. We are weak, and feeble, with nothing to offer of our own. And our good, and loving Father has promised that He is here and He hears. It probably won’t look like what we wanted it to. But, the cross is our steady, constant hope that God is not inactive. God is active. God actively hates the suffering of his children, and he actively hates injustice. He hates them so much that He was crushed so that, one day, they may no longer exist. And He has promised that, today, He’s with us. He’s with us, and active, and ready, like a generous father, to give us good gifts.

The message for Justin is this: stop trying to be Messiah, and the message for you is the same. 

Truly, mere humans make terrible messiahs.

When Death Interrupts Your Prayer Visit

When Death Interrupts Your Prayer Visit

Yesterday we went out to visit and pray with some families in the community. As with all prayer visits in these communities, it is one after another. They all live in houses virtually built on top of each other. Fortunately, many from this community lived in houses made of concrete, lots of them built by Potter’s House. You always know a Potter’s House house; it is a yellow house with a navy blue stripe at the bottom – Potter’s House colors. Same design, same colors, same overwhelming blessing to its recipients.

It was one of those houses that we were approaching next.

As you’re approaching a house for a prayer visit, you aren’t really thinking much about your entry into the home. Generally, you’re scrambling to figure out the family’s situation. How many people live there? What do they do? Are there kids? How old are they? As a matter of fact, I would have had a head on collision with the family if I hadn’t looked up at just the right moment. As I was making my way through the sheer curtain that served as a door, they were making their way out. This was strange. Most families just wait for us to come in. 

Both the matriarch and patriarch of this home came out quickly. They threw the sheer curtain out of the way bolted in the opposite direction. Just as startling as their exit was the wailing. With tears streaming down their face they were saying something. We couldn’t understand any of the words pouring out of their mouth until I finally picked out:

“Ella murio.”

She died.

The oldest matriarch of the family had just passed away. She had finally held up the white flag in her battle with health. In that instant, her spirit had left her body and this entire family was left, here, on earth, without her. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise, but when is death expected?

We twisted our way around the laminate walls that guarded the community to the next corridor of houses and entered into the home behind the grieving family. I mean, what else are you going to do when you’re there to pray for the family?

The living room was packed full of family members and friends. Some were somber, unmoved and unshaken by this relentless enemy – death. Others were screaming, wailing inaudible prayers and hopes for the eternity of their long-lost mother.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever been in the room at the time of someone’s death, or even moments after, but it is a surreal experience. That body, that just minutes ago was breathing, seeing, feeling, was now cold and motionless. No amount of grieving can reverse it. It’s not a bad dream from which you must wake. It’s probably the most human that I’ve ever felt. Surrounded by the shouts and cries of this family, time stood still. In that moment, we all came face to face with the harsh reality that few of us want to consider: this life doesn’t last forever.

One of the daughters was sitting next to her mother’s lifeless body. She had been calmly praying. I’m not entirely certain what one prays for in that situation. Strength? Peace? Honestly, death makes everything feel trivial…even peace.

In an instant the daughter fell down on top of her mother’s body and started speaking to her lifeless mom. She began asking for forgiveness for being a bad daughter, telling the body that she had prayed that her suffering would end.

Even though my beliefs about eternity are defined and concrete, I wonder if I’d respond differently.

That afternoon I walked out of the house feeling hypnotized. I quickly rehearsed what it was that I believed, but couldn’t shake the sense of frail urgency about my time on earth.

Death is not unfamiliar to God. It is wholly other than God, because it was not part of God’s original design. But God is familiar with it. When the first humans allowed death into the world, God embraced everything that it would mean for them and for Him. There is no sense of loss that God doesn’t understand. His own son died. God felt the burning pain of loss. For an instant, God bore on his own shoulders both the weight of death and the cause of death.

With all the familiarity that God has with death, it also comes an immense hatred. It is hatred so full and so strong that God set out to kill death. In a twist of cosmic irony, when Jesus died, God killed death raising Him again.

I turned the corner to return to Potter’s House. I couldn’t help but feel my life pulsing through my veins, knowing that this body was not built for eternity.

Yesterday, death seemed to have won. But one day soon, death will breathe its last.

What Do Missionaries Even Do?

The Burkholders in 2014

The missionary life is actually a busy thing. A lot of missionaries are their own boss. They set their own hours, work at their own pace etc. However, for us in 2014, that is not the case, and we couldn’t be more excited. Tomorrow is the day that everything starts back up at Potter’s House. At 7:30 a.m., I will be carrying my travel mug full of thick, black coffee, as Jenny and I hop into our Kia Sportage to make the trek to Potter’s House. We will drive out of our neighborhood and begin the hour-long process of sitting in traffic.

            The drive is no ordinary drive. Most days it is 6 lanes of traffic on a 3 lane road. I will probably be running the A/C because, well, it’s warm here. It doesn’t matter how high I turn up the volume on the radio, you can’t drown out the mindless, incessant horn-honking. Everyone feels the need to tell everyone else that we are all, together, stuck in traffic.

            We will arrive at Potter’s House, probably around 8:30, and be swept up into the whirlwind of activity that doesn’t stop until December of 2014. Potter’s House is divided up into a couple of different areas. We are working within Family Integration, which is in part of the 5 programs offered by Potter’s House.

So, what will we be doing?

English Classes

Jenny is going to be offering weekly tutoring in English. She is accustomed to teaching Spanish to English-speakers. Now, she will be teaching English to Spanish-speakers. Regardless, she’s amazing at what she does. She is going to be working with the older students, ages 12-18.

Youth

We are joining/leading a team that will be hosting a weekly youth program. Essentially, we will be
running a youth group for 12-18 year olds. We are launching this on January 25, hoping to see 150 youth come and sign up to participate in the weekly program.

Men

I, Justin, will be running a bi-monthly men’s group, with the help of a whole slew of people at Potter's House. This is a huge need, and a huge opportunity. We are hosting the meetings on Friday nights. Potter’s House encouraged us to do it on Friday nights because the men often get paid on Friday nights. This helps prevent them from taking their paycheck and immediately buying whatever vice they generally choose to consume over the weekend.

Couples

Jenny and I both will be running a monthly couple’s meeting. We hope to be studying Love and Respect, in Spanish, obviously. There are many couples that are living together because the girl got pregnant. They rarely know how to go from sexual attraction to committed, monogamous, gospel-centered marriages.

Discipleship Network

We will also be in charge of developing a discipleship network. We are still defining what this is going to look like, but we think it will resemble small communities dedicated to being and making disciples. We want to provide lots of accountability to encourage genuine transformation. Spirituality isn’t lacking here, and hearing the word occurs often. But, the doing of the word is the biggest challenge. Isn’t it for all of us?

Prayer Walks

We will also be involved in strategizing and planning the prayer walks that are done over 2014. Prayer walks are visits to homes for the purpose of prayer and encouragement. Each group that visits a home enters knowing the family’s situation, spends time getting to know them and encouraging them, prays for them, and leaves a small bag of food that includes about a week’s worth of food. These are HUGELY important meetings as they allow us to follow up on people with whom we’ve begun relationships. Our goal is to host 1,000 prayer visits this year.

Massive Evangelistic Events

We are also involved in the planning and execution of the massive evangelistic events. Potter’s House generally does about 4 a year. We do one on Mother’s day for moms, one on Father’s Day for fathers, and two others. Potter’s House has seen thousands of people participate in these events. This too gives us a great point of contact and initiation with new faces.

Miscellaneous Pastoral Work

We are also playing the role of Pastor-in-residence. There are a myriad of pastoral issues. We will be available for counseling, prayer, various discipleship meetings etc. I, Justin, am aiming to be meeting with Pastors from the community for training and encouragement. We will be on call for meetings with parents of troubled teens, present for the students in education, encouraging and discipling the staff etc. The opportunities are endless.

Oh, and our baby is born in approximately 22 days.

2014 is going to be an awesome, busy, productive, opportunity-filled year. However, it can’t reach any of those things, for us, without your prayer and support. Please pray for us. Pray that we will take full advantage of the opportunities that God has given us. And pray that we will also give full priority to our growing family.

We would love to hear what 2014 holds for you. Please drop us a note at j.burkholder10@gmail.com

Lead From Your Weakness

It's been a whopping 9 weeks. Sometimes it feels like it's been an eternity. At other times, it feels like just yesterday we were emotionally boarding a plane, checking way more bags than the average traveler, and lugging our pooch, with fresh eyes to the adventures ahead.

I know that I'm young. I know that I'm inexperienced. However, when we left, I at least felt like I had a little bit of life-experience and ministry-experience under my belt.

Regardless of what experience I have or don't have, everyone feels a temptation to prove themselves at the start of a new phase of life. We want to show the world, our new employers, and mostly ourselves, that we are capable and will prevail. Over the course of the past few months it seems like deep in my soul Stuart Smalley is quietly repeating his classic phrase "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

But, no matter how hard I fight to prove myself, how desperately I cling to whispers of approval, how traumatized I am at rejection, there has been one giant lesson broadcasted on every channel of my life: I'm weak.

I don't know why it is a message that we are so quick to forget. I mean, it is literally found in every corner of our lives. Set aside for a moment all of the things that you think that you can accomplish. Set aside for a moment all of the dreams, longings, desires, your sense of self, and honestly examine your frail existence. I mean, heck, I have to sleep 1/3 of every single day. I can translate entire passages from the Greek into English, yet I fail miserably at "doing the word." I could eloquently nuance the meaning and definition of self-giving love as found in scripture, yet I fail to patiently serve my wife. I'm weak.

I can't change people's hearts. I can't cause transformation in a community. I can't create a movement of discipleship. I can't even discipline away my own sin, how could I ever imagine that in my strength I could show others the way?

I had the great opportunity to Skype with a friend who reminded me of this very truth: I am merely a beggar telling other beggars where they can find cold water. He challenged me, "lead from your weakness." The need to constantly prove our capability and experience is anti-gospel. We may proclaim the gospel, but how we proclaim it may contradict the very message we proclaim.

When the gospel takes root in our hearts and lives, it is not our strength, or capability, or experience that defines us. No, it is our weakness that defines us; it is our need that defines us. The gospel message, the sweeping melody of all of scripture, reminds us that it was in the midst of our frailty and weakness that God rescued us. God didn't rescue me because I am experienced. He didn't rescue me because I'm capable. He didn't rescue me because people like me. God rescued me out of His own love and grace for a wretched, broken, empty man like me. Each of us must remember, daily, that our capability, strength, meaning, and power are found in Him.

And it is God, not Justin or Jenny, who will accomplish His perfect plan in Guatemala. We just get to be the empty vessels that He fills.